BUILD A CHILD’S CHARACTER
In this case I’ll discuss about spoiled child. I often hear parents complain to me “My child is so spoiled and can’t do anything by herself, what should I do to make her can do anything alone? I think she is too spoiled, I used to be raise by my parents with minimum economy, and finally I struggle all alone to do anything. But now everything is too easy for my child.”
Usually when parents start to complain thing like that, we just asked them with “Actually you already know the answer.”,“Wait- What do you mean?” and they asked again. “You’re already said that you used to be raised in minimum economy and did anything all alone. Your child won’t do that because you already set everything for them. That’s where the problem is, you set everything for them without make them struggle. You already know the problem but you still doing that.”.”But what else I can do? I feel pity for them, than they feel difficult.” That’s the problem, we don’t want our child feel how difficult it is. Actually that’s can be a practice for them so they can develop themselves.
Children who can’t do anything by themselves and spoiled, are children who are can’t develop their autonomy. Parents should’ve known that at one stage of children development, they have a stage where they want a bigger autonomy.
It start when they at 2 or 3 old years. Child wants to do something that time. But sometimes we as parents are too protective. When they want climbing a chair, we prohibited them, “Don’t, you could fall.” When they hold something that we are prohibited because it’ll broke or anything.
Finally children will become passive and just waiting what we give to them. when this thing happens year by year then we already make a pattern in our children, to be passive and spoiled. Try to give some practice to you children doing something all alone.
If you have child that in 1st grade on elementary school, if they took it long to wear socks and then you take the control like “Come here I’ll do it for you, you took too long, I’m late going to work.” You can going to work earlier if knowing that will make you late, and let them wear their socks by themselves. Just don’t because we don’t want get some trouble so we do it for them. Those little things could make your children spoiled.
If they can return their plate that they use to eat at washing place by themselves, let them do that. “If I do that way, so for what I paid for maid?” That’s the problem, you don’t give your children a chance to develop their self.
Everything need a practice. You can’t make children being independent without a process. It’s same when we raised by our parents in unstable condition. At that time maybe our parents didn’t mean to do that to us.
Even maybe they felt guilty because couldn’t treat us as well as they can. But that’s actually the best for our development. We finally became someone who independent, and then when we became successful person, we don’t want do the same thing to our children, because we feel pity.
This is the problem, we must train our children to have an independent character. We must give them chance to develop their self with do some little things that very useful for their character development. When a child return their plate on it place, wear socks by themselves, return their shoes when they done use it, or do little activities, children will feel positive self-regard. They will feel that they’re equal with adults who do the same thing.
It will make their confidence goes up. Therefore give them this chance. You’ll never be disappointed see them grow up and develop with independent spirit when they enter they teenager period.
So make sure you give them chance to do anything they already can by themselves. That’s the key to help a child have a character that independent, confident, and capable doing anything with full responsibility.