BECOME A GOOD MOTHER
As mothers, we often feel that we already be a good mother for our children. We do what we think is good for our children. But it turned out that our children felt differently. It turns out that without us knowing it we often impose our will on our children. In fact, we are often too busy with work or business that makes our children felt neglected, both in education or affection, and we use our business as an excuse that everything we do is for the sake of our children.
Indeed, educating children nowadays is more difficult, with technological advances so rapidly, of course there are various negative impacts as well. This statement is not entirely wrong, but also not 100% correct because every era has its own challenges. We are required to apply modern parenting styles, so many parents end up taking parenting classes.
Here are some ways to be a good mother to our children:
1. Learn from experience
We can be a good mother by learning from experiences. The first experience is when we were child. Of course, whatever we used to dislike from our mothers, now we can give the best for our children. The second experience is from people around us who have been or are currently undergoing the same role as a mother. Learn from their experiences by observing how parenting influences their children’s behavior. Take what can be imitated, and leave what is not good for you. This can be a very valuable lesson especially for new mothers. When you feel confused and have to ask questions, don’t be shy to consult it with someone who is more experienced.
2. Always be there for children
When you are with children, try to always be with them. Physically we are with our children but our minds are somewhere else. Sometimes when children tell stories, we listen while playing with cellphones, this often makes us not focus on listening to their stories. Create a real connection when you are with your children, enjoy time with them and listen to their stories. You can invite them to play, read stories, cook, exercise together, or chat. It’s a simple moment that will continue to be recorded throughout our children’s lives.
3. Listen to what they are talking about
In addition to the child felt heard and appreciated, your attitude by being a good listener and listening to them seriously to what your child is talking about is also a good example for children to respect other people when they talk.
4. Don’t hesitate to apologize
When we are guilty, do not hesitate to apologize to our children. Including when we can’t fulfill our promise to them, apologizing to them will teach them that being a parent is not always right.
5. Don’t compare our children with other children
One of the things that hurt a child the most is when he or she is being compared to other children. Often, we as parents unconsciously compare our children with their brothers or sisters. For example, “See, your sister always gets good grades in school, and you don’t”, “Back then in your age, your sister was good at swimming and now you can’t do it at all”
6. Stop doing all kinds of things for kids
Practice independence of children according to their age. Even if your child takes too long just to tie their shoelaces, let them finish it. Maybe there are mothers who are impatient when they see their children take a long time just to finish their food, then it makes the mother helps by feeding them to finish it quickly. Likewise when they have to do schoolwork at home. As long as the child does not need our help, let the child do it by their own self. Our habit of immediately taking over children’s tasks so that they are finished quickly does not train children’s independence.
7. Give them a good example
One example is better than a thousand advice. Set a good example for children with the behavior we really want our children to have. Example: throwing garbage in its place, telling the truth, helping others etc.
8. Be a solution when children have problems
When our child gets into a problem, never ever blame them. Listen to what the problem is until it’s over, look them in the eye, and ask, “What can mommy help to solve your problem?” This attitude will be remembered by children that we as parents can be a solution to the problems they face. If we scold a child when they have a problem, it will make them no longer believe in telling us their problem.
9. Make the rules together with your children
Making rules at home with children and making mutual agreements, will help us control children’s behavior and make it easier for us to provide evaluations. Sanctions for violating the rules applied not only to our children but also to us as parents if we violate the rules.
10. Take care of yourself
Many mothers feel guilty if they have to spend time alone, even though taking care of ourselves is just as important, so we always have the energy to take care of our beloved children. The density of activities often makes many mothers feel tired. You can spend time alone like me time, for example going to the salon, drinking tea with friends, or just relaxing watching your favorite movie after the kids go to bed.
Okay moms, hopefully we can be good mothers for our children. Good luck, moms.